Thursday 3 May 2012

Non-polish! A health story and a weight loss milestone.

*ESSAY ALERT :p*

The last few years have been difficult for me, to say the least. At 16 my health and mood started going downhill, and I was eventually diagnosed with mild depression, which was re-evaluated as severe depression only a few months later (yes, it got a lot worse very quickly and it was a very dark period of my life), and on top of all of that I was diagnosed with CFS/ME (chronic, debilitating, pretty much life-ruining fatigue). Needless to say, I was stuck in my room for a lot of the last two years of school. Thankfully I pulled through at least somewhat and ended up getting into Cambridge; my first year was pretty awful health- and mood-wise, but my second year started getting better. Last summer, I found out I was gluten intolerant, and discovered myself through trial and error that sugary and starchy foods made me feel like crap in general AND often aggravated my chronic fatigue, setting me up for a day or two of feeling so mentally and physically tired that I couldn't do anything. So I cut most of these out (bye-bye, favourite foods: pizza, bread, lasagne, chips/fries, chocolate (well, I cut down a lot, but won't cut that one out completely :p...funny that the foods that taste the best were giving me so much havoc!), swapping cereal for omelettes, sandwiches for salad with lean meat, and swapping out potatoes at dinner for another serving of different vegetables. A nice side effect of not feeling so damn fatigued all the time was the ability to actually exercise sometimes (bear in mind two years ago I often could not walk a few hundred metres to go to the library at uni), which I am so happy about :) it's still a constant struggle, but I've been doing pretty well and have managed to lose 40 lbs (actually 43 :p)...it's amazing how much ME can make you put on, and coupled with trying to eat my depression away and eating things that I was actually intolerant of, I had gained a lot since starting uni. Now? Almost the same weight I was at 16, and I was only 5'9" then (5'10.5" now)!

(more after the cut)


When I started turning my life around at the end of August 2011, I was 5'10" (I ignore the extra half inch when it comes to BMI calculations; I'm a worst-case scenario kinda girl :p) and 206 lbs/14 st 10 lbs/93kg/BMI 29.6 (overweight, nearing obesity)...I knew all about health and fitness and had lost about 20 lbs when I was 14/15 through getting healthier, but with the ME and depression I just couldn't lose weight. Even when I cut my calories down to 1800, I was *still* gaining weight (likely because I was eating so many sandwiches etc and was intolerant, and also not exercising).

Now? I'm still losing :) it's May 2012, we're still calling me 5'10" even though I'm taller, and I'm 163 lbs/11st 9 lbs/73.9kg/BMI 23.6 :) My rough goal is 150 lbs/10st 10 lbs/68kg/BMI 21.5; I've never been a skinny girl and wouldn't really want to be, and I think this goal is healthy and attainable :)

I've lost quite a bit off my waist and (ugh) my bust (I'm pear-shaped and have never had particularly big boobs, so any loss from them is saddening :p), but only about two inches off my peary hips (had a 12-inch difference between my waist and hips then, still have it now). I personally think I look mostly the same as I did before despite the pretty big loss, but I'm tall, so I suppose that has the advantage of me not looking much different when I *gained* all the weight :p judge for yourself?

(no, I'm not wearing any make-up in any of these...sorry :p it aggravates my sensitive skin so I usually don't bother!)

BEFORE (August 2011)



DURING (December 2011) Maybe 180-185 lbs? I can't remember :/
Yeah, I'm crazy :p


That's my boyfriend of over two years <3 he loved me at 206 and he loves me at 163. The way it should be :P

AFTER [still during if I have my way and reach my goal :p] (May 2012)
These dresses are from New Look. I needed to buy some new clothes as my old clothes are either very baggy (tops and dresses) or fall off me (jeans). I must admit, it's an amazing feeling :)


dem child-bearing hips :p

So, I'm a lot happier now. The ME isn't as terrible, the depression comes about in bouts but is mostly controlled (thank you, fluoxetine :p) and I just need to pass these exams and get a summer job (so many rejections for the latter; I'm definitely experienced and a good worker, but SO IS EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS CITY!).

Thank you for reading :)
No mean comments, please. It's hard for me to put these photos up here.




11 comments:

  1. Congratulations, you have done so well! I've also been diagnosed with mild depression (that was due to something traumatic happening though, a bit different) and still struggle with weight loss because of it. It's really great to read your story as it gives me hope that anyone can overcome these sort of things!
    In my own opinion I think you looked gorgeous before hand anyway, and during, but the smile on your face in the latest pictures show that you are way happier now!
    And kudos to your boyfriend! I'm lucky to have a very supportive boyfriend to, it really makes all the difference to have someone like that who loves you no matter what :)

    Congrats again on your (not sure what to write here, gain? loss? haha) happiness! :)
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! You made me smile :) and wow, did you read the whole thing?!

      Good luck with the weight loss, and I really hope you can overcome the depression as well. I'm sorry you had to go through something traumatic :(

      Just clicked through to your blog and I love it; think I'm going to be there a while reading through the posts! :D

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    2. That's okay :) And yes, I did read the whole thing!
      And thank you :) depression plus weight loss is not a great combination, but I'm working on it. I think it's really great you had the courage to write all of that, so it's inspiring to see that sort of stuff, to see that there are other girls out there just like me, and we should be sticking together not spreading the hate :)

      and yay thank you for checking it out! :P

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    3. I hear you, I really am the stereotype of 'the girl who eats her feelings'! Thank you for your kind words, and I agree that it does feel sooo much better to see other people going through the same thing (and especially other people who have made it through the same thing!) and that we should be as positive as possible. A little love goes a long way :D

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  2. Lady you have a figure to die for! Holy moly!

    I also went through a phase of severe depression at the beginning of uni - everything just seemed to be going wrong for me and my way out of it was to sleep 20+ hours a day, not eat and not talk to anyone.

    I'm really glad to hear that you've turned your life around now and are taking so many positive steps towards being happy and healthy! :) Hope everything get even better for you into the future!

    xxxxx

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    Replies
    1. Haha, thank you so much, that means a lot! It REALLY doesn't feel like it; I genuinely feel huge still :/

      I can definitely empathise with feeling like that. I really hope you're feeling much better now?

      Thanks for the lovely comments :) xxx

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  3. Hi my name is Terra from swatchitup.blogspot.ca. I recently received a Versatile Blogger Award.

    I love your blog and have been enjoying reading your posts. As such, I would like to pass the versatile blogger award onto you. Please see your mention in my post here: Versatile Blogger Award
    If you accept the award, I’d love to read your post. (No worries if you do not accept, I understand.)

    Have fun and keep up the great blogging!

    Nice job btw you look great!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohhh thanks so much! You made my day :D I'm really, really busy with exams right now, but as soon as they're over I'll get to making a post :) thanks again, and great blog!

      Delete
    2. yvw! You deserve it - your blog is honest and fun. I've really enjoyed reading so far. :)
      Keep up the great work!

      Delete
  4. oops here's the link: http://swatchitup.blogspot.ca/2012/05/versatile-blogger-award.html

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  5. You are amazing! That's all I can say. I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 20 and completely understand the feelings of not really being able to move. I am still extremely overweight and find your story very inspiring. I know it must have been hard for you to share all of this, but thanks. I'm happy for you and glad you have a great partner. Good luck finding the job, best wishes :O)

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